LIVING WILLS– JUST A STARTING POINT

Filling out the paperwork for a Living Will /Advanced Health Care Directive is usually thought of as a very unpleasant task, one of those things that we “should” or “really need” to do– but put off for as long as possible. More often than not, once that task is completed and the new Living Will goes into our important document file, we breathe a sigh of relief and congratulate ourselves on having accomplished a monumental task. Period, end of conversation, subject closed.

I’d like to put forth a radically different perspective:

Creating a Living Will is just the starting point in beginning to take charge of shaping the end of our lives.

A few years ago, I had the extreme good fortune to attend a lecture by William Colby, the lawyer who successfully defended Nancy Cruzon’s right to die. This was the only right-to-die case ever heard before the U.S. Supreme Court. If you’ve forgotten the details of the case, it involved a young woman who was forced to exist in a persistent vegetative state for 3 years after a severe car accident left her brain-dead and completely disabled. Her parents were denied the right to disconnect her life support despite their conviction that their daughter would not want to be kept alive under these conditions, until Bill Colby successfully argued their case before the Supreme Court.

Colby eventually retired as a lawyer, became a Fellow with the National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization and began a lecture tour around the country, speaking out eloquently on the need for Living Wills:

“As a society, we have to get better about talking about what we want when we are ill. Even if you’ve talked to your family a lot about it, the decision-making is profoundly hard, and it’s almost too much of a burden for someone to make a decision without written guidance.”

This wasn’t news to me, as a longtime hospice volunteer. John and I had long ago drawn up our own Advance Health Care Directives, at first, using the official Hawaii forms, and then later, expanding upon those forms with more explicit instructions of our own, which we had notarized. What really got my attention was the point that Colby kept coming back to again and again:

What is even more important than the Living Will is  talking openly with your loved ones about what you want and do not want at the end of your life. Your Living Will cannot possibly cover every circumstance.

You have stumbled upon a rare opportunity to learn first-hand from another cancer patient’s four years of experience in navigating the  cancer maze. It is compiled here, in an easily searchable format: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B004T3331M

The remainder of this chapter elucidates a little-known fact: even if you have a Living Will, your wishes about end-of-life care may not be carried out if family members have conflicting points of view. How to avoid that eventuality by taking action now is explained, along with a link to what is unquestionably the most comprehensive and thoroughly explained Living Will workbook ever published.

You owe it to yourself and your loved one to benefit from all that we learned the hard way.  This is the kind of information that, until the publication of this book, could only become part of your database by living through it and  realizing in retrospect how all the pieces fit together: colon cancer from the patient’s and caregiver’s point of view.  $9.99 seems like a very small price, considering the emotional and physical suffering you will likely be saved by learning from our experience.

Shedding Light on the Cancer Journey: Navigating the Colon Cancer Maze http://www.amazon.com/dp/B004T3331M can now be read on any computer or other reading device. The reader interface is available free from Amazon and is downloadable in seconds.

I will realize absolutely no profit from the sale of this book.  All proceeds from the sale of this book will go towards the support of the 400 monks, nuns and yogis in the seven Tibetan monasteries of Tulku Orgyen Zangpo Rinpoche, who have devoted their lives towards building the foundation for peace and freedom from suffering for all beings in this world.

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About surfingon

I live in Hawaii. I surf in the winter and swim in the summer. I have been a hospice volunteer with a contemplative-care oriented hospice for 25 years have been part of their team that trains new volunteers for the last 9 years. I have walked the colon cancer path with my beloved husband these past 5 years. He died very peacefully in April 2009. I now seek to share what we learned, to shed light on the many dark corners of this often mystifying, heartbreaking and heart-opening journey.
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2 Responses to LIVING WILLS– JUST A STARTING POINT

  1. Ilona says:

    Hi Rachael;
    I am mailing this to all my family. Thank you so much. You say it so clearly and softly.

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